How to Make Promises and Keep Them
Now that we are some three months into the New Year, some of us might be having second thoughts about our New Year resolutions. Worse still some of us might be living miserably because of thinking about such a thing – having second thoughts.
Here I’ll share a few thoughts on how to honor your promises and resolutions, and how to make or not make promises in the first place and care about your New Year resolutions!
photo credit: Lel4nd
It’s okay to have second thoughts about what you have resolved to do or not do and there is nothing wrong in having thoughts about your resolutions over and over again even now. If indeed in practicing these resolutions in your daily life, your life has become worse of then you should definitely be having second thoughts and/or find alternative route to achieve your goals.
What is your ultimate goal?
What is the final result you were trying to achieve when you resolved to do X or not do Y in your New Year resolutions? Were you trying to improve your health by running a 50 metre everyday, but now having difficulty keep the 50 metre a day promise? Maybe there is an alternative or much better way of achieving better health than running a 50 metre everyday. Ask around, your friends, fellow runners, trainers, etc.
Try to evaluate your ultimate goal(s) and maybe you are struggling with only the vehicle to reaching you goal(s). Maybe you need to change your vehicle that achieves the same goal you ultimately want to achieve.
That is why its is prudent to resolve to achive a goal and to not promise the way or vehicle to achieve this goal.
Like in the example above, the ultimate goal is better health and the vehicle is running 50 metres a day. Try to pinpoint your goals and your choice of the vehicles of achieving your goals.
Who do you make you promises to?
This is another vital factor I would consider in changing the vehicle to my goals or my goals themselves. Becauses if your promises were made to God, then my advice would be to keep them at all cost (to your happiness and comfort!) and ask Him to guide you through this hurdle in your road to glory. Or, simply pray that He will be forgiving as always and drop your promises altogether and look at other areas of you life needing more attention and work to better yourself as a person.
But if you only resolved to achieve the final goal then you have the liberty in keep your promises in many diffirent way so try and find the one that works for you. Do not stick with the one that does not work for you thinking “..but I promised..”.
Do you make resolutions public?
If you have made your resolutions public then there is a chance that people around you will keep asking your or minitor your progress. Maybe you even asked one to actually monitor your daily progress. If so, speak to him or her and voice your concerns and why. Tell them about the problems with your vehicle or even your goals. He or she should see sense and help you develop a better program or goal to strive for.
Its important to have an understanding partner or mentor to monitor your daily progress.
How to make promises – take away points:
- Pinpoint ultimate goals,
- make promises to yourself (not God), and
- have a partner or witness who will help you even when you fail or have second thoughts about your resolutions.
How to honor promises (and achieve results)
- Set very specific goals. Don’t make resolutions just for the heck of it. So many of us are prone to make promises to further our selfish goals, to impress a girlfriend/boyfriend, to appear responsible and trustworthy.
- Look for the best (according to your personality, needs, environment, etc) vehicle to achieve your ultimate goals.
- Set achievable goals! Try to acknowledge there are ideal and realistic goals, differentiate between the two and set realistic goals.
- Have a partner to help you through.
- Celebrate your smallest achievement toward such a goal.
- Count your eggs before they hatch. Keep reminding yourself of the ultimate benefits of achieving your goals, personaly benefits, social benefits etc.
- Keep working at it, remember its because its worth pursuing that you made that your goal in the first place.